3 Simple Ways To Better Your Relationship After Having Kids
As an often sleep-deprived mom of two, I know how difficult it is finding the time to relax and enjoy intimacy with my partner. I’ve been there – partner wants some romance, but I’m exhausted! Hitting the SAK (Sex After Kids) should be fun and stress free. How do I get there?
Prioritizing your relationship and yourself is really what it’s all about. You are more than just a parent. You deserve to have your sexuality celebrated, to connect with your partner and to enjoy have mind-blowing sex. Besides, nothing helps you sleep better than a good orgasm!
Sigh, but finding the time is hard – right? Yes, balancing children, work and household duties doesn’t leave much room for anything else. But really, once in while, the cleaning can wait and the laundry can pile up a bit. What memories will you cherish? The steamy sexy night with the one you love, or the night you managed to tidy the whole house? Okay, wait a minute, a tidy house is really nice… but I do agree that romance with my partner is very special too - and definitely makes both of us feel dreamy about each other.
Here’s three super simple ways to improve intimacy and enjoy your sexuality:
- Invest in Some Stimulating Sex Toys,
- Set up an Intimacy Schedule, and
- Kegels - Getting The Squeeze On!,
1. Adding Sex Toys
It’s a cliché, but it’s a good one! Adding sex toys is the perfect way to spice things up in the bedroom (or any other room for that matter). When choosing the best toys to bring into the bedroom, it can be overwhelming! There are literally thousands of different toys to suit almost everyone’s taste - from plain Jane to wow, what is that used for, there’s generally something for everyone to enjoy.
Product safety really should be high on the list of priorities when choosing the right toy. There’s a lot of potentially dangerous toys on the market, therefore, I strongly recommend toys that are made with safe materials and preferably certified ones. Toys made with body-safe silicones are safe for inserting into your body, however, check that those silicone toys are in fact certified as body-safe.
Look at a sex toy as an investment. You’re investing in pleasure at the most intimate level. In addition to finding healthy choice toys, consider toys that also bring mutual pleasure to the mix. One toy in particular, built for mutually enhancing stimulation during intercourse, is the vejuVe Enhancer. It’s really a push up bra for the penis - allowing the penis to stroke with more pressure against the clitoris and the G-spot. In addition to the female experiencing enhanced clitoral and G-spot stimulation, the penis also gets to enjoy greater sensation while penetrating the vagina. It’s designed for mutual pleasure.
But how does the vejuVe® Enhancer work? Quite simple really! It’s made of a skin-like soft silicone that curls up to about the average girth of a penis, inserts into the vagina, and gently uncurls within the vagina to hold itself in place. Once in position it won’t move around during sexual activity. The curved shape of the vejuVe Enhancer allows a penis to enter the vagina in any of your favourite positions. As the penis enters the vagina, the penis is pushed against the clitoris and G-spot, significantly enhancing the stimulations felt during intercourse. Furthermore, the vejuVe enhancer is made of 100% certified skin-safe silicone, comes with a discreet and convenient storage case and comes with a generous amount of water base paraben free lubricant.
But does the vejuVe enhancer vibrate? – nope – it doesn’t need to. The added pressure from the penis on the clitoris and the G-spot is extremely stimulating - without any buzzing or any noise. Also, having vibration inside the vagina can cause the penis to get a little too excited too soon, leaving the vagina with no dance partner, hey buster – I still need you to dance here. In other cases, vibration inside the vagina can also hypnotize the penis into taking a nap – rather than finishing that oh so fantastic dance performance, wow wow wow… the songs not over yet. Of course, if you do need additional clitoral stimulation, feel free to enjoy your favorite vibrator while you and your partner enjoy the vejuVe Enhancer.
2. Make Time for Yourself and Your Lover
Getting it on with kids running around isn’t easy! The daily stress of family life never goes away, and life in general is just SO busy for so many of us. But it is SO important to prioritize your relationship and make time for yourself and your partner. Relationships are built and maintained on having a close connection with your partner, so pencil in the time and make it happen. Also keep in mind that kids have a keen sense of knowing when there’s tension in a relationship. When there’s tension kids often act out with tantrums or they can generally become unmanageable. So with knowing this, family life can be so much easier when there’s a strong and loving connection between the parents. I approach this with a “do it now” perspective, it’s a great way to get things going. Don’t over think it, just book something with your partner that connects you both in a special way. It can be as simple as a walk or more involved like going out for dinner and a movie. On your excursion, both of you should agree to focus on pleasant stimulating conversation, staying away from talking about the children or life’s stresses. Instead, really focus on your partner without distraction and just enjoy the special time together. Schedule it and make it happen.
Scheduling sex might not seem that appealing or sexy but make it that way. It’s all a matter of perspective. Set a time & place, send each other sexy teasing texts throughout the day, and enjoy the build up knowing what awaits. Looking for some creative ideas on how to jazz things up? Try these fun activities on for size:
- Read some erotic stories together while lying next to each other. Cell phones make this so easy now – download and install an app like literotica (there’s something for everyone there). With your free hand try roaming over your partner’s body. When things heat up, put away the phones and enjoy each other.
- If you haven’t taken a bath together in a while – there’s no time like the present. Light some candles, pour a glass of wine and relax together in a soothing warm bath. If you’re feeling a little naughty, use this as an opportunity to explore your body and show your partner how you like to be touched. They’ll love watching and might even learn something!
- Massages are great for relaxing and unwinding after a busy day and you guessed it, they’re also a fantastic segway to great sex. Grab some coconut oil, strip off your partner clothes and treat them to a massage.
- Ever have a foot massage while masturbating - it’s an erotic experience for the giver and the receiver.
Add some special time with your partner to your daily routine and stick to the plan. The benefits will impact all aspects of your life.
3. Kegels Kegels Kegels – Getting the squeeze on!
When most of us think of health, we think of working out at the gym and eating more vegetables. But a good portion of our health can be rooted in maintaining a healthy pelvic floor. Our pelvic floor muscles help us with everything from maintaining bladder control to feeling more pleasure during intimacy. Pelvic floor health is also an essential consideration during pregnancy and after giving birth – especially after a vaginal delivery. Much of the natural reconstruction of the vagina, after a delivery, can be directly attributed to sticking with a good pelvic floor workout routine. Our bodies are amazing at rebounding after trauma but staying focused on a routine is a must. If its been years, that fine, it’s never too late to start.
So get that pelvic floor working for you (and your partner), put into place a Kegel exercise program and get squeezing those muscles! The best approach is to make your Kegel exercises a part of your daily routine, whether it’s when you eat or when you drive around, every squeeze counts! Keep in mind that the benefits of Kegels takes time, much like exercise, so stick with a program that works best for your schedule.
Don't squeeze too hard!
Not trying to crack walnuts here.
Here’s how in five easy steps:
- Next time you urinate – stop the flow – those are the muscles that you want to target.
- For your exercise routine, squeeze those muscles for 3 seconds, then relax for 3 seconds.
- Repeat this exercise about a dozen times per session and try to do this at least 3 times a day. That’s why I like breakfast, lunch and dinner – otherwise I simply forget to do them.
- Make sure to keep your stomach and thigh muscles relaxed.
- Add a second each week until you are able to squeeze continuously for 10 seconds each time.
CAUTION: Avoid doing Kegel exercises while you urinate, as doing them during urination can hurt your bladder.
A side benefit to Kegels is that numerous studies have shown that stronger pelvic muscles can increase desire, arousal, lubrication and intensify orgasms… and who doesn’t want better orgasms? I'm on it!... squeeze 1 - 2 - 3, release 1 - 2 - 3, squeeze 1 - 2 - 3…
Great companionship requires work on everyone’s part and communication is key to having a loving intimacy rich relationship. With commitment, love and devotion, each person can enjoy a more enriched life style. Everything from maintaining good physical health to caring for your partners wants and needs will go a long way to support a happy life. Invest time into yourself, your partner and consider adding some sexual enhancers to spice up intimacy - the rewards will be well worth it.
Simple kind gestures go a long way with making someone feel special. Try these:
- Pick up a favourite chocolate bar for them or,
- Leave them a nice sticky note or,
- Text them a smiley face or,
- Give them a nice lasting hug or,
- Always, always, always give your partner a kiss when you come and go from home.
The vejuVe® Enhancer is a personal care product and is not intended to mitigate, cure, or treat any medical condition or disease. The vejuVe Enhancer is sold as a sexual enhancement aid. Results from the use of the vejuVe Enhancer may vary from person to person. This article, including all of its content is solely the opinion of the writer.